Kidnapped! Again
by grafiti rtk
Summary: Elizabeth and Jessica are well out of college. They both have office jobs. Elizabeth has the grave misfortune to fire a lunatic. But what will happen when he seeks revenge..on the wrong twin?Written in play format The first few scenes were cowrittn w a fr
1. Scene One

Scene I

_CARL and ELIZABETH are in ELIZABETH's office. ELIZABETH is sitting at a desk, CARL is standing._

CARL: You wanted to see me, Ms. Wakefield?

ELIZABETH: Yes. Well, see, we were getting a lot of complaints about you. Things like 'he's a psycho'...

CARL: And?

ELIZABETH (in a matter-of-fact way): You're fired.

CARL: What!

ELIZABETH (slightly annoyed): You're fired.

CARL: What?

ELIZABETH (really annoyed): For the love of god, you're fired!

CARL: You can't fired me! I- I'm Carl!

ELIZABETH (in a flat tone of voice): Get out of my office.

_Carl just stands there._

ELIZABETH: Get out of my office!

_Carl is still just standing there._

ELIZABETH: Guards!

_In the background, you can see guards walking towards the office._

CARL: I will get my revenge on you! Even if it takes me 1 year, 3 months, 16 days, 4 hours and 38 minutes!

_Guards drag CARL away._

ELIZABETH: Whatever.

_Office fades. Cut to Carl standing outside of an office building._

NARRATOR: One year, 3 months, 16 days, and 3 hours later.

CARL (looks at watch): Hmm.. almost time!


	2. Scene Two

Scene II 

_Scene starts in ELIZABETH's office. ELIZABETH's secretary Aurora Goldstein is sitting on a couch, reading a magazine. ELIZABETH's twin, JESSICA, enters_.

AURORA (Startled): Ms. Wakefield! I wasn't expecting you back so early-

JESSICA (Interrupting): It's okay, I'm not Elizabeth, I'm her twin. And don't worry, I won't tell her that you were slacking on the job.

AURORA (Relieved): Oh, hi Jess. You're here to see your sister?

JESSICA: Yes.

AURORA: Sorry, she's out having lunch. I don't expect her back for a couple of hours. You're welcome to wait in her office, though.

JESSICA: All right. I brought some paperwork. (She gestures to a briefcase she is carrying.)

AURORA: Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to go take a coffee break.

JESSICA: 'Kay. (She sits down at ELIZABETH's desk and pulls a stack of papers out of her briefcase. AURORA leaves the room.)


	3. Scene Three

Scene III 

_Scene fades to CARL. He is still standing outside of the office building. He looks up at the building. _

CARL: Let's see.. Ms. Wakefield works on the 34th floor.

_He looks up at the building. _

CARL: I'd better get started climbing.

_He starts to climb up the side of the building. He only lasts for a few seconds before falling off. _

CARL: I guess I should planned this better.

_CARL thinks for a bit._

CARL: Aha!

_He goes inside the building. He walks past some guards who are busy watching TV. They take no notice of him. He takes an elevator to the 34th floor, gets out, and walks into ELIZABETH's office. We see Jessica at the desk, working. _

CARL: Well, Ms. Wakefield, at last we meet again.

JESSICA: What?

CARL: Oh, sure, you didn't take me seriously when I vowed revenge. Call me a lunatic, eh? They all call me a lunatic!

_CARL starts to wet a rag with some chloroform._

JESSICA: Sorry, I think you've got me confused with-

_JESSICA abruptly stop_s _speaking and loses consciousness as CARL puts the rag to her face. He holds JESSICA's limp body and looks for something to put her in. He spots a white burlap sack just lying on the floor. He picks it up. _

CARL: Ah, perfect.

_He puts Jessica in the sack, and takes the elevator down. None of the people that he passes seem to notice or care that he is holding a sack with a person in it. He gets out at the first floor, and walks past the guards (who are still watching TV) to the door. _


	4. Scene Four

Scene IV

_Open to a dark room, with JESSICA tied to a chair._

JESSICA (Voice-over): Where am I? I feel like I have a huge hangover. Well, I probably do. But why am I tied to a chair?

CARL: Ah, you're finally awake.

JESSICA: Wait, I remember now! I'm not hungover, you drugged me and kidnapped me!

CARL: Why yes, Elizabeth?

JESSICA: What? I'm not Elizabeth!

CARL: Huh?

JESSICA: You idiot! You kidnapped the wrong twin!

CARL: But.. no! I had everything perfectly planned!

JESSICA: Sure, so did Margo and Luke and everyone else who ever had it in for us. But look where they ended up.

CARL: Well, if you're Jessica, then where's Elizabeth?

JESSICA: I dunno.


	5. Scene Five

Scene V

_Open to ELIZABETH's office. ELIZABETH and AURORA(the secretary) walk in._

AURORA: Okay, your sister is right in h-

ELIZABETH: What? She's not here.

AURORA (spots an envelope on the ground): Hey, what's this?

(She reads it):

To whom it may concern,

At last, I have vengeance! Muahaha! I have kidnapped Elizabeth Wakefield! And you will never find out who I am, never!

Sincerely,

Carl

ELIZABETH: No! Carl kidnapped my sister! Aurora, get Todd Wilkins on the phone! We have to come up with a plan to save her.

AURORA: Wouldn't you be better off calling the police?

ELIZABETH: _Gasp!_ Never, never, ever! No one in Sweet Valley can call the police! That's.. cheating! We have to find her ourselves!

AURORA: Okay...

(AURORA dials Todd. She hands the phone to ELIZABETH. The screen is cut in half, with LIZ on one half and TODD on the other.)

ELIZABETH: Todd, it's Carl again! He's kidnapped Jessica! But, I think that he thinks that she's me!

TODD: Good riddance.

EW (shocked): What?

TODD: Um.. never mind. Anyway, we must think of a plan!

EW: Yes! I'll meet you at the Dairy Burger in an hour.

TODD: Ok.


	6. Scene Six

Scene VI

_In Carl's house again. Jessica has been untied and she and Carl are sitting down to tea._

CARL: Well, so, Jessica, Elizabeth has gotten on your nerves at times, hasn't she?

JESSICA: Yeah. She gets pretty damn annoying. Honestly. She's all like, 'Nooo, don't do that, that's dangerous.' At times, I just want to strangle her.

CARL: So, how about it? Do you want to help me kidnap your sister? We can get revenge together. Me, for her firing me. And you, for her being a goody-two-shoes.

J: Hmm.. kidnap my own twin sister? Sounds intriguing.

C: So you'll do it?

J: Sure, what the hell. Francine Pascal's been running out of ideas for about twenty years anyway. Maybe this'll liven things up.

C: All right! Oh boy, we can start planning things! I love this part! First of all, what could we do to lure her out here?

J: We could tell her that we're holding one of her friends hostage here. She's bound to come for that.

C: But she would realize that they weren't actually missing. Unless she's incredibly stupid?

J: Oh yeah, I forgot- she and her brainy pals are among the few people in Sweet Valley who have a lick of good sense. So I guess that wouldn't work.

C: Maybe you could tell her that there's a big book sale going on over here. Would that work?

J: Great idea! She loves books!

C: Now we just have to put the plan into action, and revenge shall be ours!


	7. Scene Seven

A/N- Thanks for all the reviews, guys! 

Scene VII

_In the Dairy Burger. Todd and Liz are sitting at a table. _

LIZ: So, what are we going to do?

TODD: Well, I think I'm going to order a cheese burger an-

LIZ (interrupting him): I meant about rescuing Jessica!

TODD: Oh. Well, don't we already know where he lives? Remember, we've been there already.

LIZ: Yeah, but he wouldn't be so dumb as to be hiding her there, because he knows that we know that he lives there.

T: Get real, Liz. These books aren't so well designed that they would consider that. Plus, they are really inconsistent. Maybe we can take advantage of that. You see, the authors wouldn't have expected us to be consistent with the thing about us going to Carl's house in book 13, and therefore wouldn't have prepared for it.

L: What?

T: (Whispering to Liz) Look, I know that that doesn't make much sense, if any, but go with it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have any idea what to do, and neither would the author.

L: (Whispering back) Oh, okay.

T: So, then we're settled? We're going to go to Carl's house?

L: Yeah, sure. (Picking up a newspaper.) And while we're there, we can go to this super cool book sale.

_On the paper, there is an ad reading: Come to the super cool book sale! We have ALL of Elizabeth's favorite books! And it's at CARL'S HOUSE!_

T: Uh, Liz, I don't know, but I think that might be a trap.

L: Nah. I don't think so.


	8. Act Two, Scene One

  
Act II, Scene I 

_Carl's house. Carl and Jessica are playing War._

Carl: My 9 takes your 4.

Jessica: (Bored) Yeah, whatever.

Carl: So, when do you think Elizabeth will show up?

J: I don't know, but I'm tired of waiting.

C: Yeah, well, it'll probably be soon.

J: Sure.

30 MINUTES LATER

_Outside Carl's house. Liz and Todd are standing on the porch._

LIZ: I want to get another copy of Wuthering Heights-

T: Liz!

L: And of course I'll get Jane Eyre-

T: Liz!

L: What?

T: For the last time, there is no book sale! That was just a trick!

L: (crestfallen) Oh.

_Todd rings the bell._

T: Y'know, maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to come here when we knew that Carl was setting a tr-

_Carl and Jess open the door._

Jess: Now!

_Carl puts a chloroformed rag to Elizabeth. Todd starts to get the hell out of there._

L: Todd! Where are you going?

T: I'm, uh, going for backup. (He continues running. We hear the sound of an engine starting.)

L: Lousy bastard. (She faints from the chloroform)


	9. Act Two, Scene Two

Disclaimer-I just realized that I forgot to do the disclaimer thing for the whole story, so here it is: I don't own Sweet Valley. 

To Desiree, if you are reading this, you are absolutely right; I should stop doing the story just because you say so. One thing I wonder, though, since the review was for the last chapter, does that mean that you had to read the whole thing before deciding that it was stupid? And, another thing; do you know what 'parody' is? I suggest looking it up.

**Act II, Scene II**

_Carl's house. Liz is awake now, tied to a chair and gagged. Jess and Carl are there._

Jess: So, what do we do now?

Carl: ...

Jess: You don't have any ideas about torturing her or anything?

C: Well, see, when I was planning revenge, I never got past the part about kidnapping her.

L: Mmmph, mmm, mmp.

J: What? _She takes off the gag._

L: I said, that that's pretty poor planning on your part.

C: Yeah.

_They just stay there, silently, for a while._

J: I'm bored. I'm gonna take Liz and go home, 'kay?

C: What! No, you can't do that! Even if I don't have a plan, she has to stay here!

J: Sigh. Well, then _I'm_ going home. This place is like, Nowheresville, man.

C: Oh, you're not going anywhere.

_He ties Jess to another chair._


	10. The End scene three

Act II, Scene III 

_Liz and Jess are tied to chairs._

Jess: We're screwed, aren't we?

Liz: Yeah. I would have been counting on Todd to save us, but the way he's acting lately, I don't know.

J: Too bad that all of _my _incredibly devoted boyfriends ended up dead.

L: Maybe Jeffrey will save us.

J: Who?

L: Remember.. he was my boyfriend while Todd was in Vermont.

J: Oh, right. Well, I don't think he'll save us. He's probably forgotten all about you by now.

L: (Shocked) But, I thought that he would still be pining away about me! I mean, the world of Sweet Valley revolves around us!

J: (Incredulously)Yeah, _right_. I think it would be more likely if one of my boyfriends rose from the dead and saved us.

A/N- For those of you who are used to the very limited vocabulary of Sweet Valley, incredulous means unbelieving. (By the way, that's sarcasm there, just so you don't flame me. I'm making fun of the SVH books, not the people who read them.)

Narrator: Will Todd save the girls from the clutches of Carl? Will Jeffrey come back? Or will Sam become a zombie and come to the rescue? Find out in part two of this three part miniseries.

A/N: Okay, I'm done with this. I'm not writing any more. Well, I might, but probably not.


End file.
